17 years too late

Stephanie sat back in the bar booth, holding her rum and diet coke with both hands.

So many memories. So many dreams.

Like pinballs pinging and ponging from flippers to bumpers to flippers to the inevitable loser's alley, where it didn't matter how hard you hit the flippers, or tilted or kicked the machine ... the steel ball just kept rolling past the last set of plastic flips. And then the game was over.

"Stephanie?"

Her mind raced to places, spaces, moments.

Homecoming. Prom. Graduation parties. College. Hanging out. Football games. Studying. Homecoming. Graduation. Jobs.

"Did you hear what I said? I made a mistake. We should have gone for it."

She took a sip of her drink. And another.

Sleepless nights. Unanswered prayers. Staring at the phone. Waiting for the doorbell.

Lyrics ricocheted from one corner of her mind to the other.

Hopelessly Devoted to You (gag). I Can't Fight This Feelin Anymore. You Belong to the City (because that's the song that was playing the one time they slow danced).

"Aren't you going to say anything?"

His was a life of luxury. Trips to foreign lands. An expensive car, big house.
But not of love, as evidenced by two wives. Several children with visitation privileges. Big divorce settlements.

And yet, here he was. At last. What she always wanted. Dreamed of. Hoped for.

I gave you love, she thought. For years and years. Homebaked cookies. Clocking your time from home to first base. Watching football drills every afternoon until game day. Restoring your ego after a loss. Phone calls lasting until 2 a.m. dissecting your silly relationships. Making sense out of your logistic class.Typing term papers. Being there. Always.

Always.

It would be so easy. She could run away. She would be taken care of. He was one who would always call "the guy" for repairs. Pick his underwear off the floor. Put in a pool. Travel to New York for shows and shopping.

For a moment. For a split second. She considered it.

Stephanie stood. She finished the cocktail in two swallows.

"Thanks for the drink. Tell your Mom I said hello."